Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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