How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
