How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
