The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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