Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
where are my eyebrows?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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