they need to just BURY HIM!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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