I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
