the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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