Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
