fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
