i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
