It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Sorry about my life...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
