Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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