couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
