Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
