Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
