I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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