Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I could make wine with my vomit
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
