It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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