Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Randomize
