I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
