just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
