Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She bit a glass in half.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
