Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize