this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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