dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
