its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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