Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
