I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
