Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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