how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
