Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i barfeds in our rink
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
