i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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