We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
