I love black thongs
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
