just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
