I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
