some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My feet surprised me
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