we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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