You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
