kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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