I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
