i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
