There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
