I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
