we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
