his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
