when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
