But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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