He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
