never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
