i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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