normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
