i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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