i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I smell stomach acid.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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