So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
