i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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