She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Your shirt... Was in my pants
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
